I hate you a lot more than i give off.
My smile is just as fake as your promises.
God, i fucking hate you.
It’s just one of those days
You should stop reading into things too much.
You make all the problems in your head.
You over think too much.
You should take everyday as it comes.
And you said it so casually.
You have no idea how much i want to deck you in the face.
Fuck everything.
You’ll see.
You’ve got troubles, well I’ve got ‘em too
There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you
We stick together and we see it through
You’ve got a friend in me
Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you the way I do
It’s me and you
And as the years go by
Boy, our friendship will never die
You’re gonna see
It’s our destiny
You’ve got a friend in me
Toy story
I only do it because i hate you.
You make me hate you.
I WAS FINE BEFORE.
Please don’t look at me that way.
Don’t give me that look.
It’s not your fault.
It is your fault.
FUCKING HELL.
WHY CAN’T SIDE WITH ONE OPINION.
Why am i always in two places.
I feel so torn and so distorted.
But with you everything melts.
You make me this way.
YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY.
I do it because it makes me feel alive.
You don’t understand i have to.
I have to be this way.
It’s all i know now.
It’s the only way i can cope.
I can’t feel alive all the time.
I hate you.
I hate that i’ve tried everything to get rid of you.
i tried warning you.
I showed you my darkest moments.
WHY ISN’T THAT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO LEAVE?
I’VE GIVEN YOU REASON AFTER REASON.
OFF YOU FUCK.
I hate that i push you away.
And here we are.
Back and forth.
I hate myself.
I really hate that i do it.
too often for my liking.
It was okay.
I used to have a hold on my life.
Now i’m finding myself, waking up, needing, wanting.
I really hate myself.
You were right. I am weak. I am pathetic.
I won’t ask for your help.
Because i don’t need help.
Can’t you see? I’m fucking fine by myself.
I don’t fucking need you.
There’s no going back now.
That’s on you.
I obviously spoke too soon.
Happens every time when i think something good is going to fall into my laps.
I wouldn’t chase anything. I promised myself.
Kicking back thinking i was finally going to be myself, in the sizzling summer sun.
And BAM. There it was.
Standing there with a corona in his hand, as cold as his heart.
Your eyes glance over briefly.
We share that moment where our eyes meet.
You turn to look away.
Your lips curve up at the corners.
Your smile is misleading.
It masks all the things you’ve done.
You think your secrets are going to die with you.
You’re not who you portray yourself as.
I guarantee you’ll miss me.
Watch me walk out of your life.
That’s on you.
Back and Forth
Days like this i feel like i’ve taken a step back.
And patience is something i do not have.
I have to learn how to be patient.
I just want everything now.
More than anything i want to go back in time.
And just start from the beginning
It’s safer being this way.
You can’t hurt me otherwise.
The one day i let my guard down, is the day i am completely naked and vulnerable.
And i can’t stand the thought of giving you that over me.
You can’t be in control of me.
You can’t control me.
You can’t.
I won’t let you become anything of relevance towards me.
I carry myself.
I won’t let you.
I can’t fall apart.
I won’t let you win.
I was born alone to die alone.
I don’t need you.
I don’t need anyone.
Forever destructive
destroying everything i touch.
complicating the smallest things.
being in self-destruct mode.
bitter.
alone. (regardless if i end up with anyone, i’ll still be alone in a sea of people)
Self- loathing.
Thoughtless. Reckless. Fuckless.
And now i’m starting to see the pattern.
Evident, i don’t need someone to fuck things up for me. I guess i fuck myself right?
